Today I am sad. Really sad. Mom's tumor has grown by 200% since about a month ago. That news is less significant to me than the reality of her physical and mental decline. It's been getting much faster; she poops in her depends a lot now and falls almost daily, her left side is really weak and sometimes does things "without her knowledge." Worse, she's just not "there" as much. So, yesterday was hard because I felt like mother's day was about happiness and grief (and guilt). Tonight, I saw Craig on Skype and started to cry. Seeing him makes the nightmare real. I feel guilty because it's easier when I can't see him. In my head, he always looks and sounds the same; he's okay.
So, today it's been tears for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment